Lessons Learned from John Miller

There's a wonderful book written several years ago entitled 'QBQ: The Question Behind the Question', by John Miller (http://www.qbq.com). In the book John writes of an experience he had while visiting a restaurant. He placed an order for a diet Coke only to find out that they only served Pepsi products. He changed his order to water with lemon and thought nothing of it.

Minutes later his meal arrived along with a diet Coke. To make a long story short, the server had his manager go around the corner to a local store and bought a bottle of diet Coke. The lesson is one of going the extra mile to provide service.

Every week I meet with my AmSpirit Business Connections Chapter at GameWorks at Easton. This past week we had near full attendance plus 9 guests attending. GameWorks staffers were doing the best they could to bring in extra chairs and tables. Our regular server was off for the day, so the new server had his hands full to say the least.

We took a short break before our featured speaker. I left the room to go to the ATM across the hall (needed money for our weekly raffle). As I briskly walked back into the restaurant to re-enter the meeting, two elderly ladies motioned me over to their table. "Could we please have some menus", they asked. I guess because I was wearing a name badge and walking briskly I looked like one of the managers. I responded that I did not work there, and started to walk away. It's at that moment that the QBQ lesson hit me.

I saw a stack of menus sitting next to one of the registers and grabbed a couple and delivered them back to the two ladies. The expression on their faces was priceless! "I thought you didn't work here", one of them said. "I don't, but I knew where the menus were. Your server will be right with you", I replied. I smiled and walked back to my chapter meeting.

How many of us go out of our way to be servants for others? What I did was very little effort on my part. But I bet the two ladies will remember it for some time.

Making an extra phone call, connecting people who can help each other, doing the little things to make a difference for others. I was about to write 'that's what makes a successful networker'. It's not, though. That's what makes a successful life!

The Tale of Two Chapters

I attended two chapter meetings today. One in the morning, one at lunch time. The morning group had no guests, the lunch group had 9 guests. What's the difference?

It's amazing to see how two chapters with relatively the same professions can act so differently. The morning group wants badly to grow the group, but always looks for some magical formula that requires little or no effort.

The lunch group never really discusses 'we need to bring guests'. They just do it. No complaining, no whining, no 'let somebody else do it'. Members of the lunch group are so proud of the chapter they belong to and are genuinely thrilled to be there every week. They can't wait to showcase their chapter.

The morning group has the demeanor of 'this is such a chore' that they appear bored at the whole concept. It's not hard to see why guests are NOT chomping at the bit to visit the chapter. The members aren't even thrilled to go, so why would they bring guests to see it?

The bottom line is that everyone in AmSpirit Business Connections wants to be in a chapter with someone who is enthusiastic, brings lots of guests, and generates lots of referrals. What's stopping you from being that very person? Why not be your chapter's savior, rather than looking for someone else to do it?

If you can fill a room with like-minded people that have the 3 characteristics above (enthusiastic, bringing guests, generating referrals) you may just find a culture like the lunch group I mentioned here.

Underestimating 'Socials'

I often wonder why more people in AmSpirit Business Connections do not attend 'Socials'. Whether they're in their own chapter or even other area wide socials that chapters promote across the organization.

One chapter last year had very poor attendance at their monthly socials. Several members came up with the solution to the problem. Stop having them. What??

Rather than correct the behavior of 'bad networking behavior' stop having them? For the last 15-20 years it has been said that the chapters that 'play together, stay together'. I just attended my chapter's social this past Friday evening and I couldn't believe how pumped up I was afterward. Not only was it a lot of fun, but I got energized seeing others in our chapter bond at a deeper level. It all feeds into the "know, like, and trust" concept that leads to more referrals for everyone in the group.

The culture in my own chapter, or at least my guiding statement that I've shared is this:

We will create a chapter of members where each member will not hesitate for 2 seconds to provide a referral to their best clients with any member of the chapter. If we all feel the same way about each other and have the utmost confidence in each other's professionalism, we can not lose!

Every opportunity you get to socialize with your chapter, seize upon it! Until you make it a habit, you may not even know what you're missing.

Here are some tips for 2009!

By now most of us have settled back into a regular work routine. Isn't it nice to have a Monday with regular hours again? I guess I need the structure of a work week to get me focused and have the ability to get done all the things that are important for my business and my life.

Ever notice that AmSpirit Chapters with the most structure more often than not also have:

• larger member rosters
• more referrals generated
• more enthusiasm

Has anyone ever visited a chapter with little or no structure that has any of these 3 items above? I know I haven't. Let's all commit to rolling up our collective sleeves, helping fellow members, and putting our best networking efforts into our chapters in 2009.

Here is a link to an article that I thought was truly insightful as well as entertaining. Do you recognize any of the behaviors listed in this article? Let's all be aware and not fall into any of these behaviors ever.

Enjoy this article. I know that I did. http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/02/perfect-way-to-lose-at-networking.html

Check Your Ego At The Door...

It's a great idea to become a leader within your chapter by taking on a board position. There are several benefits:

1. You are a more visible member in the chapter with more prominence.
2. Others will look up to you as a leader.
3. You will gain respect from other chapters, especially when your chapter does well. You'll be partially credited with the success of the chapter.

However, you do a disservice to your chapter if you:

1. Carve out your own kingdom.
2. Are unwilling to listen to advice and suggestions from others in your chapter or in leadership positions.
3. React negatively to anyone's ideas that differ from your own.

The key to remember is that 'we're all on the same side, wanting what is best for our chapters'. No one person is more important than anyone else, or as Charles Dickens wrote, 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'.

Make the effort to understand someone else's point of view and intent, before judging or acting in a rash manner. You'll have less regrets if you do.

Try New Approaches

We're half way through 2008. In looking back at the first half of the year, how would you rate your personal networking efforts and those of your chapter's? If you are dissatisfied with either, it's not too late to turn things around in the second half.

Sometimes it is the little things that will lead to greater success in AmSpirit Business Connections. Maybe try something a bit different like some of the following:

• Visit another chapter. Pick one that does not have your category represented if possible. Why not build relationships across chapters? If your category is very popular, then just go to the other chapter to see if you can learn one new thing to take back to your own chapter.

• Ask someone to go to lunch that you haven't met before from another chapter, or pick someone from your own chapter that you haven't been able to spend any one-on-one time with for a long time.

• Find another networking event this month to attend that is not AmSpirit-related. Maybe you'll find a person to invite to your chapter, or maybe a contact for someone else in your chapter.

There are lots of opportunities to change your networking efforts in another direction. If you're 'stuck', break out of your rut with a new activity. It just might jump-start the second half of your year!

Owners, Renters, and Squatters...

Networking groups, whether it is AmSpirit Business Connections or otherwise, all tend to have 3 types of members. There are Owners, Renters, and Squatters. Which are you?

Owners--Members of this type are fully engaged in their groups. They take leadership roles, whether as a board member or just demonstrating leadership skills and setting good examples for others in the group. They attend their chapter meetings diligently, generate referrals constantly, and are always looking for ways that they can contribute to the continual improvement of their chapter.

Throughout the week, they are always thinking of how they can help and serve others. Rather than having a mindset of 'what do I have to do to be successful?', they have the mindset of 'what else can I do to be successful?'

They seek out other networking opportunities, also with the thought that they will attend the event in the hopes that they can uncover opportunities for others, not themselves.

Renters--Members in this category are able to contribute to their networking groups, but usually only do the bare minimum to get by. If they're required to do something, they'll do it, but rarely will go beyond what they're required to do. Their thinking is dominated by, 'what am I required to do to remain in good standing?' If 2 referrals a month will be required, they'll make sure that they generate 2 referrals, but no more.

As long as they belong to groups with strong leadership, they can be good members, because they will be held accountable.

Squatters--Members in this category take up space in chapters and do not follow the guidelines of good networking behavior. They scoff at structure, minimize the success of others as irrelevant, and erode the effectiveness of their groups. They want all the benefits of networking without putting forth any of the effort.

They miss meetings frequently, generate referrals only if it is easy (like someone asking them if they know a good realtor), and rarely attend any other networking events. They love making excuses as to why they can't attend events or meetings, and if questioned about their behavior, will be indignant about it. They take up a business category in their chapter and keep it from being occupied by any other business professionals who could be a much better fit for the chapter.

Before anyone thinks I am overly harsh in describing these types of networkers, please understand that I am only sharing what I have observed over the years through my involvement in AmSpirit Business Connections. I have been a Renter myself. Until I fully understood what it meant to be an Owner and the benefits associated with it.

I do not expect every member to generate tons of referrals every month or to attend every meeting. I do expect professionalism. I do expect that members deem their chapter meetings just as important as any client meeting. I do expect communication from members when they cannot attend.

We all have times where we have a conflict and cannot attend an event or a meeting. It should be the exception, though, and not the norm.

Owner, Renter, or Squatter: which are you?