Reasons Why You Don't Get More Referrals...

Often times I will hear members say, "I just don't get many referrals. I don't know if this networking 'stuff' works for me." Yes, we all joined AmSpirit Business Connections for the same reasons. We want more referrals for our businesses. The question is, "How do we get more referrals?"

It's better to illustrate what 'not to do' in order to have a better appreciation of networking, I think. Too many people sabotage their efforts and you probably for witnessed firsthand some of the bad networking behaviors. Here's a partial list of what 'not to do':

1. Don't follow up with the referrals you are given. Misplace the referral slip given to you and then do not bother asking the person who gave you the referral to provide the information again.

2. Better yet, do not ever give feedback to the person who provided the referral. That way they'll never know if you made a connection or not.

3. Always talk about your business, focusing on what you need. You don't have time to learn about what others need in their businesses, you've got a quota to hit.

4. Go to networking events and pass out as many business cards as possible. Don't take the time to talk to anyone at length. It'll cut down on how many cards you can pass out.

5. Don't give referrals to anyone unless they give one to you first. Let them know you keep score and if they're not going to give something to you, you won't help them either. Also be sure to tell other members in your chapter that you don't get referrals from anyone.

6. Don't get to know anyone from other chapters, it takes too much time. It's hard enough just going to your own chapter meetings every week.

7. If you have a chance to meet a paying client, schedule them over your weekly chapter meeting. It's much better to try to close that one sale than to go meet with your networking group. You probably wouldn't have gotten any referrals that day anyway.

8. Miss meetings for any reason, most likely they won't even know you're not there. Time management is important to you and you can get more done if you don't elect to attend your networking meetings regularly.

9. Don't meet one-on-one with other chapter members. You'll see them at weekly chapter meetings (at least the ones you attend). So why should you take another hour out of your week to meet them individually? It seems like a waste of time.

10. Don't go to any of your chapter or area wide socials. You've put in a full day already, why extend the workday any longer? It's better go get home and unwind watching TV instead. You'll be better rested for the next workday.

So, how many people do you recognize in any of the above statements? You may have even chuckled at the recollection of seeing some of these behaviors in action. If you ever find yourself asking 'Why don't I get more referrals?' do a quick analysis of yourself to be sure you aren't exhibiting any of these behaviors.

Find Good in Everyone...

We all have people in our lives that for whatever reason, we just do not see 'eye to eye'. That's ok, though. If everyone agreed on everything, we'd be bored to tears. Right? Come on, agree with me!

Diversity is what makes life interesting. If there's someone in your network that you perceive as mean, unapproachable, distant, or any other negative qualities do this when evaluating them. Find something GOOD about them. Maybe they're a great parent, or very knowledgeable in their business, or you find that you share a common interest. Something, anything, that might help soften your negative outlook about that person can make a world of difference.

Your future interactions with that person may be much more productive and enjoyable as opposed to you avoiding contact at all cost.

Helping Others First

It never ceases to amaze me how some people in the world view networking. One of the best things you can do for yourself to ensure that YOU are successful is to help others first and to also constantly evaluate yourself on how others perceive you. Self-evaluation is a powerful exercise.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are so focused on their own needs that they either do not take the time or do not care what others think. They're too busy hitting THEIR goals.

Here are two recent examples from my own experiences. The first is a person who started a new company. He's out there working his tail off to get new contacts and new business: FOR HIMSELF. He's accepting new business for anything and everything, rather than focusing on a specific niche in his new industry. Basically he's willing to 'step on toes' of former referral partners because he needs the money. Had he specialized in a given niche he would have found that those referral partners would have been happy to help him by giving him referrals with the hopes he would return the favor. Greed won out instead.

In the second example, a member of a referral group asked everyone in his chapter to provide him with 2 referrals in the next month so he could reach HIS monthly sales goals. Yet he had generated 6 referrals to the rest of the group over eight months. If he had been a consistent contributor helping everyone throughout the year in his group he probably would have already met his sales goal without specifically making this plea.

The lessons to be learned in these two examples are that you should not make requests for others to help you when you've offered little help to them. You should also be considerate of your referral network and not compete against them for the same business. Your short term sales will result in a long term failure. If you're perceived as selfish, any potential referrals will dry up for you.

Connecting Naturally

While on vacation this week, I realized that my wife, Cheryl, is a natural born networker. She doesn't even know it, but she is. For whatever reason, people are drawn to her. It's because she always smiles at others when she makes eye contact.

Last night we visited the laundromat so we wouldn't be packing a suitcase full of dirty laundry for the trip home on Saturday. Cheryl asked me to go next door to get some change at the restaurant for the machines. Five minutes later I returned and Cheryl introduced me to the family next to us doing laundry. They were from Cincinnati and have lived here for five years and have three kids. She made a connection in the few minutes I was gone!

Cheryl gave a gold token to the smallest little girl that came out of the change machine. The little girl told her she was a nice lady and hugged her. A small act of kindness to a stranger meant a lot.

What can we do to 'connect' more effectively with those around us? Do we remember to smile at those we do not know? Or do we remain expressionless, appearing aloof? What random act of kindness could be in your future to help you connect with another or network more effectively?

Once we practice smiling and being kind to others, it will become second nature to us. Unfortunately, we can't all be naturals like Cheryl.

The True Value of Your Network

I read a post this morning from Keith Ferrazzi, author of 'Never Eat Alone'. While it was a short statement, it was also a real epiphany for me. Here it is:

"When I judge the value of my network, it’s not by how many people are in my rolodex. It’s by how many people I can pick up the phone to call and say, “I need help” – and by how many of them would call me to say the same." --Keith Ferrazzi

Can you think of any statement you can make about your own network of contacts that holds more true than this?

What Kind of Chapter Do You Want?

All chapters in AmSpirit Business Connections WANT to be successful. The hard part is putting forth the effort to make it happen. Frank Agin often says, 'be the person you want to network with'. What if everyone in your chapter behaved that way?

It'd be great! Wouldn't it? So many chapters allow people to join who really should be screened a bit before taking a vote. It's so much more difficult to remove a bad member than it is to approve their membership in the first place.

Cultures are created by the collective behavior of your chapter. I'm proud of my chapter, the Towne Centre Chapter, because we are doing so well in inviting guests. In fact, so far in 2009 we have had at least 1 guest at every meeting this year. I have not heard of another chapter being able to make such a claim. By writing this, I hope I do not 'jinx' us.

While we have lots of guests, it is no guarantee that anyone submitting an application is automatically approved. We absolutely want to grow our membership, but with the right people on board.

If your chapter is not performing well (having guests, giving referrals, having great attendance, etc.) think about how much you screened members before they were approved. Having a strong mentoring program in place will help turn mediocre members into great members too. But if you do not screen applicants and do not mentor existing members your chapter is going to fall short of being a great chapter.

Rely on your Area Director for advice or help to turn things around. That's what we're here for, to help your chapters be successful. If your AD is not helpful, don't settle. Communicate with AmSpirit HQ to see if there are other resources to help (other ADs). I know I've not always hit it off with all my chapters, but those I currently support do know that I only have their best interests in mind, not my own. I know that their success will contribute to my success as well.

Remember, if you attract the best people and then mentor those who can be developed you will have great results in your chapter. Trust the process and success will follow.

Who Are You...Really?

Over the past few months, more AmSpirit members are diversifying their business categories. Good idea? It's not a bad idea to ever have multiple streams of income.

But here's the danger. Under the 'know, like, and trust' concept how does talking about multiple business categories build the 'know' or the 'trust'? It can be confusing if every time you do a 30 second commercial or a presentation in your chapter and you are always switching gears. I'm not referring to people discussing different aspects of their industry. There can be variations there. For example, I will mention web hosting, web development, email newsletters, etc. But they all belong in the 'web' category.

You can easily confuse your referral partners if they don't know who you really are from week to week. It also creates the impression that you struggle with everything so you have to work 2-3 jobs to create one income.

My advice. It's perfectly ok to have multiple jobs, just don't talk about all of them in your chapter meetings. Focus on where most of your income lies and build relationships and referrals around that particular job title. Otherwise you may end up losing referrals on all fronts. Because no one knows who you really are and are uncomfortable giving you referrals.

Core Groups: Important or not?

There are several opinions out there in the AmSpirit Business Connections community on the importance of core groups. Some think they can't exist without them. I think they're less important than a lot of others.

Why do I think that? I think of my entire chapter as my core group. If I thought for one minute that as the owner of a web development company, I could only count on leads from the printer or the advertising firm in my chapter, I'd lose.

Every time I hear a mortgage person or title company (I'm not picking on real estate, it's just a clearly defined core group) say, "I'm looking to switch chapters because I don't get any leads from the realtor in the group", it makes me cringe. What they're really saying to me is, "I really want to focus on low-hanging fruit that doesn't require me to put in a lot of effort to receive referrals."

If they truly thought that the realtor or title person were the only referral sources, why not pick one realtor and one title person and go to lunch with them every week and leave the rest of the chapter alone? That way the chapter could focus on recruiting members who completely understand the power of networking with everybody, not just their core group.

Don't misconstrue what I'm getting at here. Core groups can be very beneficial, but they need not take precedence over building solid referral relationships with everyone in your chapter. I view them as a side benefit, not the primary benefit.

You may disagree, but think about it. Which would you prefer? A room full of referral partners, or two core group partners?

The Little Things Do Add Up...

My favorite line from the movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" came from Paul Newman. He said, "I have vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals". It's that way often times in how people see the art of networking with others.

You can build up or damage your networking effectiveness without ever realizing it. Let's start with some positive points first. Here are some of the actions that will help you get ahead in AmSpirit Business Connections:

• Attend meetings regularly. Never fail to call your chapter Vice President to let them know that you cannot make a meeting. Also call if you will be late for a meeting. It's simply practicing professionalism.
  
  
• Attend area wide functions and socials. The area wide functions enable you to meet more people. Go to them with the attitude that you hope to find referrals for others. Do not selfishly think of only taking for yourself. Others will find you if they have a need, especially when they do not perceive you as constantly being in 'sales mode'.
  As for socials, you will find that others in your own chapter will increase their level of 'know/like/trust' when they see you wanting to interact with them and getting to know them better.
  
  
• Follow up with the referral giver. Let the person know what's going on with the referral that they gave to you. It lets them know that you took action and feedback as to whether it was a good referral or not.
  
  
• Meet with your lunch buddy every month. This is your opportunity to know more in depth about the other person's business. It may take months to learn the same information if you only see them in the weekly chapter meetings.
  
  
• When you are the featured weekly speaker, focus on how the other members can create referrals for you. Do not merely talk about what you do. That's ok for the first or second time you present to the group, but after that it serves no purpose to educate others on how to refer to you. The membership is your sales force. You must arm them with the information that will generate referral business for you.

Now let's list some of the little things that will negatively impact your ability to be an effective networker in AmSpirit Business Connections.

• Don't attend meetings regularly.
• Don't attend area wide events or socials.
• Don't let the referral givers know what happens with the leads they give you.
• Don't meet with your lunch buddy.
• Don't prepare for your presentation when it's your turn to speak to the group.
• If you do attend the weekly chapter meeting, make sure to show up right when the meeting begins and leave immediately when it adjourns. That way you don't have to worry about having to talk to other members or guests before or after the meetings.
• Don't take networking too seriously. It's just extracurricular activity anyway. You really need to be focusing on yourself and what you need and not waste a lot of time thinking about anyone else. Besides, it's a bad economy out there, you've got to look out for yourself.

I'm sure there are other positive and negative steps to be considered, but these two lists are a good starting point. Which list will you adopt as yours?

Following Up

Whenever you receive a referral from another member in AmSpirit Business Connections, or business leads from anyone, it's a good idea to follow up with the person who gave you the referral. I admit that I have not always followed this rule myself.

It's easy to forget when we get busy. But if you want to encourage the person who provided the lead to you to continue providing leads/referrals, let them know what happened to the last lead they gave you.

If someone gives you a referral that was not the greatest, have the courage to go to the person and explain to them why it probably was not a good lead. That way they'll have a better understanding of what kinds of leads are best for you.

Lessons Learned from John Miller

There's a wonderful book written several years ago entitled 'QBQ: The Question Behind the Question', by John Miller (http://www.qbq.com). In the book John writes of an experience he had while visiting a restaurant. He placed an order for a diet Coke only to find out that they only served Pepsi products. He changed his order to water with lemon and thought nothing of it.

Minutes later his meal arrived along with a diet Coke. To make a long story short, the server had his manager go around the corner to a local store and bought a bottle of diet Coke. The lesson is one of going the extra mile to provide service.

Every week I meet with my AmSpirit Business Connections Chapter at GameWorks at Easton. This past week we had near full attendance plus 9 guests attending. GameWorks staffers were doing the best they could to bring in extra chairs and tables. Our regular server was off for the day, so the new server had his hands full to say the least.

We took a short break before our featured speaker. I left the room to go to the ATM across the hall (needed money for our weekly raffle). As I briskly walked back into the restaurant to re-enter the meeting, two elderly ladies motioned me over to their table. "Could we please have some menus", they asked. I guess because I was wearing a name badge and walking briskly I looked like one of the managers. I responded that I did not work there, and started to walk away. It's at that moment that the QBQ lesson hit me.

I saw a stack of menus sitting next to one of the registers and grabbed a couple and delivered them back to the two ladies. The expression on their faces was priceless! "I thought you didn't work here", one of them said. "I don't, but I knew where the menus were. Your server will be right with you", I replied. I smiled and walked back to my chapter meeting.

How many of us go out of our way to be servants for others? What I did was very little effort on my part. But I bet the two ladies will remember it for some time.

Making an extra phone call, connecting people who can help each other, doing the little things to make a difference for others. I was about to write 'that's what makes a successful networker'. It's not, though. That's what makes a successful life!

The Tale of Two Chapters

I attended two chapter meetings today. One in the morning, one at lunch time. The morning group had no guests, the lunch group had 9 guests. What's the difference?

It's amazing to see how two chapters with relatively the same professions can act so differently. The morning group wants badly to grow the group, but always looks for some magical formula that requires little or no effort.

The lunch group never really discusses 'we need to bring guests'. They just do it. No complaining, no whining, no 'let somebody else do it'. Members of the lunch group are so proud of the chapter they belong to and are genuinely thrilled to be there every week. They can't wait to showcase their chapter.

The morning group has the demeanor of 'this is such a chore' that they appear bored at the whole concept. It's not hard to see why guests are NOT chomping at the bit to visit the chapter. The members aren't even thrilled to go, so why would they bring guests to see it?

The bottom line is that everyone in AmSpirit Business Connections wants to be in a chapter with someone who is enthusiastic, brings lots of guests, and generates lots of referrals. What's stopping you from being that very person? Why not be your chapter's savior, rather than looking for someone else to do it?

If you can fill a room with like-minded people that have the 3 characteristics above (enthusiastic, bringing guests, generating referrals) you may just find a culture like the lunch group I mentioned here.

Underestimating 'Socials'

I often wonder why more people in AmSpirit Business Connections do not attend 'Socials'. Whether they're in their own chapter or even other area wide socials that chapters promote across the organization.

One chapter last year had very poor attendance at their monthly socials. Several members came up with the solution to the problem. Stop having them. What??

Rather than correct the behavior of 'bad networking behavior' stop having them? For the last 15-20 years it has been said that the chapters that 'play together, stay together'. I just attended my chapter's social this past Friday evening and I couldn't believe how pumped up I was afterward. Not only was it a lot of fun, but I got energized seeing others in our chapter bond at a deeper level. It all feeds into the "know, like, and trust" concept that leads to more referrals for everyone in the group.

The culture in my own chapter, or at least my guiding statement that I've shared is this:

We will create a chapter of members where each member will not hesitate for 2 seconds to provide a referral to their best clients with any member of the chapter. If we all feel the same way about each other and have the utmost confidence in each other's professionalism, we can not lose!

Every opportunity you get to socialize with your chapter, seize upon it! Until you make it a habit, you may not even know what you're missing.

Here are some tips for 2009!

By now most of us have settled back into a regular work routine. Isn't it nice to have a Monday with regular hours again? I guess I need the structure of a work week to get me focused and have the ability to get done all the things that are important for my business and my life.

Ever notice that AmSpirit Chapters with the most structure more often than not also have:

• larger member rosters
• more referrals generated
• more enthusiasm

Has anyone ever visited a chapter with little or no structure that has any of these 3 items above? I know I haven't. Let's all commit to rolling up our collective sleeves, helping fellow members, and putting our best networking efforts into our chapters in 2009.

Here is a link to an article that I thought was truly insightful as well as entertaining. Do you recognize any of the behaviors listed in this article? Let's all be aware and not fall into any of these behaviors ever.

Enjoy this article. I know that I did. http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/02/perfect-way-to-lose-at-networking.html